crazy kaboodle

Reg always calls me that (besides "yiny-winy"). crazy kaboodle... i don't know what that means, though. :D haha... but that's ok. i just remembered that 'cause... i'm thinking crazy again & probably, if Reg were around right now, she'd tell me i'm one crazy kaboodle talaga! *sighs* moving on... ano nga bang ginawa ko? i have just deleted my past 3 posts from last year! i just don't feel like seeing them again in my blogspot... crazy nga, you say, pero ganun talaga. i love change! & perhaps, one day, this love of change would kill me... morbid thoughts are poppin up once again! haaay... nega-thinker to the max 'to. BIG dot, dot, dotz.

about the last (latest?) crush. i said he's a swimmer... i forgot, hindi pala sya yun. ung friend nya nga pala yun... dodgerzzz... he wasn't my crush yet back then, i think, so i wasn't so cautious about info on him... anyway, i sms'd him one february morning (after our gig... haha!) then he replied... and replied, replied, and replied to my text messages! ang saya! kaya lang, he was busy... and of course, so as not to be so obvious na ako'y kinikilig, syempre, the text messages were about not-so-personal things... there wasn't so much thrill, but... i was thrilled! i giggled to his msgs, &... that was all. kung iisiping maigi, wala talagang buhay... but then again, that's Infatuation. something tells me it's natural to be going through this. more? i checked out his friendster account & read that he is in a relationship. i just don't know if he's in a real relationship or if he was reffering to his "love," ang mahal naming rival (shuffle the letters). what's not to love about that girl anyway? kaya nga mahal namin sya. i so wanted to cry that time... infatuation talaga, no? well, what can i do? i have a crush on him... it's something like an "i-love-you-it's-hard-for-me-to-let-go" situation in an obsession stage... what?!? i'm obsessed?!?!? i can't believe i just said that. oh, i don't really know if i was obsessed that time... 'til now, i still don't know. i haven't the slighetst idea if i was really beginning to be obsessed that time... hmm... ano pa ba'ng nangyari?... aa. i remember. there was a time when i kept on singing "will you marry me?" by Vonda Shepard. i so wanted to sing that to him! plus, "crush" by Mandy Moore. think... "will you marry me?" being sung by a girl like me?!? i'm only 18!!! and i've only known him for some one, two, three... nine to 10 months. he doesn't even know i like him!!! & i am the Girl. oh, life. do understand me, please. like i've said, i'm a crazy kaboodle (whatever kaboodle means... basta, i'm crazy. almost obsessed na nga yata e). what else... it even all came to the point when i was itching to know his sked, his hangout places, & the like... as if i were a stalker. "ngek!" davahh?!? i also told him we should just communicate through friendster since he was so busy and i didn't want to disturb him. hate that anyway. the richness of communication is very weak... (tama ba?) he hadn't replied to my msg yet, although i know he had already logged in days after i sent my msg... baka busy lang talga, but it hurts to know that he can't even send me a text msg to acknowledge... "baka walang load..." -ganun?!? buti pa si Lev nun, na-appreciate yung pagiging pranka ko & open (too open) about my ex-crush who happened to be a gay & about how i felt (i asked & told him things like, "ok lang naman yun, di ba? at least, lalaki pa rin ang crush ko!!!") oi, don't think like that! Lev is a special friend... parang special child! haha! :D kidding aside... mahaba na 'to. time to wrap things up, about him... i miss him. he's still my crush, but there's a part of me ready to let go... like i'm falling out of love, since i haven't seen him these days... but i know that he's still on my "crush list"...

moving on... yet another thing that would qualify me for being crazy is having another failing grade... yes. yet another failing grade! isa pa to add, and i'm out! *sighs* oh, i can't wait for the results of the other grades... gotta know so that i'll see if what i saw in my future - studying in a computer school! taking up web design... - would come true. gotta know so that i'll see if i would have to be ready to take my first (3) summer classes... oh, life. that's what i get for being so lazy & for being a crammer. dear parents, condemn me. -.- other people had already advised me things & things to stop me from digging my own grave, yet i continue doin these bad habits of mine... oh, what a bum!!! a trigger that would make other people explode... in anger. bad, bad, bad me.

i'm hoping to see some people on hi5 and neatvibe... (i hope to see him there, too, but i don't even know his surname... how could i find him in the vast net with so many people having the same first name he has?) i told people messaging me on neatvibe that i'm not as nice as i may seem & that i don't think i'm one "sweety" just so i wouldn't attract them... (i'm not looking, but people were messaging me... i could be rude, but i can't be on first meetings... i just can't be... something inside me tells me not to be. good girl? nah... it's just always the case... someone's putting attention on you... there's nothing you can do but entertain...) but having done that seems to have made them see me as a nicer gal. you; don't you think i'm bad? i'm thinking... that i have... applied... reverse psychology on them! hmm... nice... not. : (no, i'm no boy-hater. it's just that i'm not looking. but thanks anyway for liking me. that Could make me feel a lot better.)

what else has been happening in my life?...

i guess i'll tell you later. or if not, months after... gotta go & eat. people in the house have been nagging me for N times just so i would eat before i eat my own time surfing the net. as a matter of fact, they had already slept on me. nagging me tired 'em. 'til next! ^-^

*i hate being pale. is there any way that i could make my face darker? i have made my arms darker, but my face still stands out. help me out with this (& the whole thing with my life?) please... thanks.

*add me up on friendster, myspace, multiply, hi5, sms.ac, neatvibe, & ringo... go email me @ oyindulce@yahoo.ie for the info...

*i want my hair shorter... and blue. "crazy kaboodle!"

*my favorite color is green!!! Happy St. Patrick's Day to all, btw!

*crazy, crazy kaboodle... this is getting so long... so long... farewell!...