strawberry choco-coated notebook

Your Personality Type: The Individualistic Doer

2008-07-09T10:03:00.001-07:00

Your Personality Type: The Individualistic Doer

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WELCOME BACK to me!

2008-07-09T09:54:00.001-07:00

& to Miranda, too... she just arrived last Tuesday. :)

after more than a year and a half, so much (just so much!, really) has changed that even my previous posts no longer seem believable to myself because... they're just so old. those were actually my thoughts that I was writing, but now, I feel like somebody not so different from my old self, not so different from the Yin that people knew, but I feel like somebody...quite new. I don't know what's up... basta! everything (my spiritual life, my social life, & even my academic/school life!) is taking on a very wild turn! a lot has happened & the course of events in the past 19 months has definitely made a lot of change in this world, so much so that even the ice caps of the North Pole are melting fast!

maybe I should visit this once in a while & write more about the story of my life here. nobela na 'to!!! :))

WHAT THE - ?!?

2006-12-12T03:31:00.000-08:00

Your Subconscious Self
What's Really on Your Mind?

corinne, your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your friendships

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your friendships. But it's also possible that thoughts and feelings about your relationships have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.You may feel dissatisfied with your current circle of friends or conflicted about one of your closer friendships. Perhaps you long for more fulfilling connections, or wish that you found your friendships less draining, or more balanced. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.
However, you can learn easy ways to tap into your subconscious mind and discover the source of the issues that are preoccupying you.

what the - ?!?!? I was browsing and whatever I saw first or wanted to click was my answer... now I'm thinking that was one test I should have taken seriously, and that's one test I'll retake someday!!!

whoa!!! after 6 months. :-D

2006-11-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

after 6 months of hibernation, here I go to tell you what the newest with me is! I'm super excited to learn soccer!!! :-D had I only been this interested in the years that had passed, ... never mind. there's no room for regrets now... only excitement can fill me today! and, of course, my faith. :-) I won't tell you more unless I have more to tell, that is, unless I can show progress. but for now, I can & will tell you where this excitement came from. there was a time in the past when Wedding Peach (the corny animé series) was being televised in ABS-CBN... I loved the series & we, my sister & I, got to love soccer balls, too. we did not know how to play soccer, we didn't have a soccer ball, but we did have a stuffed toy, a stuffed soccer ball from Blue Magic... I believe we bought that. my interest in soccer also aroused when I had gotten to know that friends from Focolare actually play soccer because they're part of their schools' programs... I was interested, but not this interested. today, the excitement that I hold is actually built during my stay in UST... having known a friend who happens to be a part of AB Women's Football Team, I was interested and somehow tempted to join... but I didn't join, perhaps because I was thinking that at that time I couldn't handle everything I wanted to, considering that my parents actually think that I'm frail (since I had asthma before [which I think I've outgrown], tuberculosis, & a type of pneumonia), that it runs in our blood that we all have weak knees (literal; weak bones), and that I was (& maybe I still am) the baby of the family (I'm the youngest girl) so my parents still fetch me... (& I let them treat me like a baby, I guess...) anyway, besides my friend (Yvet's the name ^^), I have this classmate, JR, who is a member of AB Men's Football Team (or Club?) & is a great player... once, he had this really big bruise on his leg... I was so amazed with his dedication since even if he didn't know where the bruise came from (if I remember it right), he still continued to be part of the team, he continues to play! it's his passion! (just like my passion for music... -_-) he's so into it, & I admire that. given all those, it still did not cross my mind that I'd like to join a team or what. now, my sister (Iya) is in Italy, & she told us once that she now plays soccer there with the other Gen (of Focolare) from Italy & from the other parts of the world... now that made me envious!!! nainggit ako at naiinggit pa rin. from there, I had this idea that someday I will learn how to play soccer, too... someday I will be playing soccer! then, last Monday, I was wearing a green shirt given us by my sister (Ate Ava) in Minnesota... it had this white football print along with some words... ka-blah! this shirt was noticed by a co-member of the choir (JC) since he plays soccer for AB, too. I told him the truth that I don't know how to play & I only wear the shirt since... it's a shirt! I like greens... and soccer, too... but I told him that I don't play soccer, & that I want to learn the game. Then, he told me that the (Women's) football team offers training during summer... I told him that I'll contact Yvet about my interest... but I haven't yet. I don't know how I should start... but, since I got to ask JR a while ago how soccer is, if it's fun, or what, (I also told him that I'm interested in soccer,) I'm feeling relieved that at least now some people know that I have this dream... I'm also excited since there are people around whom I know can help me fulfill my wish... I wish I could finally play soccer for my own enjoyment. ^^ (...& for some purposes, too, that only I know... something that I could relate to my family's beliefs... I think you know.) 'til next! :-)

revelations & responsibilities

2006-05-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

[[[
i was supposed to post this one last March 12. here goes...

title: revelations & responsibilities

today, i did something horrible... i revealed to my BES classmates that i joined a beauty-&-brains contest 3 years and some months ago! i shouldn't have told them about that... tsk tsk tsk...
end of revelations part. i do not want to say more about that...
responsibilities. i do not know if i could handle them. it's not that i cannot; it's just that

"it's just that"...
i wasn't sure then (& i still am) that i'd be able to continue my studies in the university... who knows, i might not be lucky enough this time... i think i'm in the list of those facing the possibility of being... debarred. ^^ yep, that's right. last year, my clearance said, i'm on probation. days after receiving my clearance, i enrolled for summer classes for 2 subjects & was able to pass... the one which was indicated to have the mark of "inc" though wasn't cleared yet... & i think my prof already failed me. if she really did, it would be for the good of both of us... there's a long story behind it that's why i dare say that. (i shall say though that i love her! she's a nice teacher.) i got another deficiency last sem (1st sem) & it's another "inc". that means i now have two deficiencies, both of 3 units. for those in their 2nd year & up here in the university i'm in, we may only have 6 units of deficiencies. lest we maintain that or decrease the numbers, we would be facing debarment. going back to where I first took off, ikinakatakot ko nga lang na baka nandun na 'ko sa spot, biglang wala pala silang maaasahan.
]]]

i don't remember when i had this last edited. whenever that was, i'm sure of one thing today: i'm happy! happy because i'm not yet debarred. i got another failing grade, but this time sa minor, sa NSTP... 3 units ng lab... that did not make me on probationary status or debarred though... good thing. another good thing is... UNO AKO SA MAJOR SUBJECT!!! ang yabang ko, pero imagine that! maybe being in a front seat does make a difference... matataas ang grades ko (dalawa lang ang below 2.00... lahat 1.75 & up na) & i'm thinking i'm really lucky... God is good, God is great! i'm thankful! sobrang saya ng April, ng summer ko, ng buhay!!! at may isa pang ikasasaya... nagkalinawan kami ng sinasabi nila dating boyfriend ko daw. at least, ngayon, kahit para kaming nagpadala lang sa conclusion nila (crowd, classmates, batchmates, hearsay-ers, feeling controllers of our lives... no, i'm not holding grudge, talaga), i know na may decision din kaming nagawa NANG KAMI LANG. magandang magkalinawan.

i'm single & happy! never better! :-)

from brown (to blue) to red

2006-05-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

Your true color is Red!

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

Yin, your true color is Red!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

Red?!? what red?!? ok, so maybe i only get really satisfied when my heart is really really into something, but then... hey, at times i do think before i act! or... maybe red is the artist in me... as if.

nothing has changed. -_-'

2006-03-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

yes, nothing has changed.

i'm still the same old me... that is, if we are to speak in terms of bad habits... say... procrastination? *sighs* i should be in class at this very moment. i've missed 3 classes today because i willed it to happen. let's backtrack... at the start of the day (Tuesday Ü), I was thinking, "no sleeping unless i get to finish all that i have to do." but i slept a while after. i was sleepy! so, i did... i slept. but before i did, i set the alarm to wake me up an hour after... which i don't think really happened. maybe I did stand to turn off the alarm, but after that... well... i obviously did something that made me decide this afternoon to finish what I have got to finish. i had set another alarm for the early morning, at around 6am, so if i continue sleeping after the first alarm, I'd still have another alarm to wake me up so I could at least do something... problem was, I still slept. my dad forced me to stop being lazy at around 8am... nice. I've got no more time to do what I had to. we left home maybe some minutes after 10:30. I did everything I had to here at school. Problem was, I couldn't finish all before 2nd subject... I extended my working time up to 20 mins. after 3rd subject started. I reached the door of the classroom at 4:30pm. 30 minutes late. they had already started with the activity, eulogy. i cut that class even if there was an hour left before it finishes firstly because i thought makaka-abala na naman ako. second reason, (i admit, bitterly) i was afraid to come in. i knew he would scold me, then the person presenting or that would present would lose his momentum... i wanted to come in, actually, but fear overcame me... it conquered me! i wanted to see doitz, too, but I told Reg that I'll just abstain from doitz today. I also told Joie "patayin mo na lang ako ulit pagdating ko dyan mamaya." well... time to redeem myself?

goodbye worldwideweb!

no more swimming under the sea...

2006-02-22T20:53:00.000-08:00

i've changed back to my old blog's template since lately i haven't been seeing the picture used for the borrowed template, swim with me under the sea... it looks better now that it's simpler... less complicated. i hope i would feel ok with this for long so that i wouldn't have to find a replacement this soon.

'til next. :-)

2006-02-22T20:35:00.000-08:00

Intuitive InterpreterPeople who are Intuitive Interpreters are highly conceptual thinkers. Rather than focusing on facts and figures, they look at the big picture. They are less inclined to need to walk through something step-by-step to understand the logic behind it. This also lets them make connections between something they learned three weeks ago and something they are learning today. While other people need those types of connections pointed out for them, Intuitive Interpreters just naturally make them.

Take the super IQ test

discussion on love...

2006-02-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

... is turning out to be a debate!

no... not really a debate... 'tis just something we had some heated arguments on a few minutes, hours, moments ago. 'twas interesting, though...

it's our group's third change of topic... our topic now is something like love in the modern sense, or love then and now... 'tis so just to have an argument, something we could reall talk about, something "intellectually stimulating." we came to these points that would serve as the outline, the supporting ones that makes up the main topic: courtship, technology, conservatism, respect, same sex relationships, context, limits, commitment, and sex. let me remind myself what we should be dealing with given these subs... courtship. courtship then was way harder than courtship now. courtship now is much simpler than that of the past. technology. it is one thing that affects the changes in our views on courtship and the like. conservatism. some people are still conservative; some are now much more liberal... (changes in time bring about these differences in views & opinions.) because of conservatism, some still think sacred of traditions. because of liberalism, i'm most likely to repel traditions, traditionalism. respect and values. values yesterday differ from those of today. self-respect implies to others that the self (or he) should be respected by them... respect begets respect > respect them and they'll respect you... show them that you respect yourself then they'll respect you too... the discussion goes on like that... same sex relationships. i'm against that, for God made woman for man and man for woman... i can tolerate them as long as they're not taken seriously, like that's a matter of life and death. i'm not against homosexuals, bisexuals, and the like, though. context. context of love back then and how it differs now... all i can say is that...love does not change as time goes by. it's the people that change, the culture, the technology, the ways of expressing love!... that should go to the conclusion though... it's not something that should be revealed early in the discussion... it's actually the conclusion! Ü limits. it's said that love conquers all. (yuck! corny!) but in spite of my belief in that, too, i certainly think there are limits to it, especially if it's love by man, then it couldn't possibly be agape or unconditional as God's love. a man can kill but he shouldn't name love as the reason for committing murder. commitment. views on commitment, especially life-long commitments, had changed... life-long commitments are no longer just togetherness... people think harder now before moving to such level, a higher level of intimacy... most no longer think of marriage as something that could be equated with dowry... sex. i still think it's sacred, and that it's still important for a couple to be both virgins as they face each other in the altar. otherwise, well, that's ok, but it's not the best marriage for me... i don't know really... am i in the right position to speak?!?

now that i've laid out some of my views, i gotta clarify that the reader should consider the culture in the country i live in. i'm from the Philippines. i'm a Filipina. (but not the typical Internet Filipina! you people with dirty minds!! how judgmental of you!!!) i'm proud to be one & i'm proud to tell you that i'm not a traditionalist & i'm liberal to some extent. if you study or live in the Philippines or immerse in Filipino communities, you would much better understand how and why i've gained or made these thoughts of mine.

it's your time to shine. XP XD
(btw, i like you, doitz!!! doitz, be mine!!! rather... be a good friend of mine. Ü)

almost red... not blue!!! but blue... (labo!!!)

2006-02-15T18:16:00.000-08:00

btw, the title of my last post is almost red... i was near enjoying every minute of Valentinte's day... so... there. but in the true color test i've taken recently, it says there that i'm brown... that's stilll true enough. i got a different result today though 'cause i altered some of my answers to second choice answers if those some weren't in the choices or if i were in a different mood (specifically, yesterday's mood)... the result:

Yin, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

but i still think i'm brown... remember?... brown?... myriad of colors... right?

why do i get this feeling that lately i'm uncertain about all things i say?... like, i have to ask you "right?" or "remember?" i'm getting sick of me!!!

gotta go... gotta change.
for the better. -_-

almost red

2006-02-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

yesterday, Valentine's day, i had the chance to talk to my crush, but then... well, i just don't know what to do whenever he's near! i mean... i'm a jelly. yah. that's it. torpe, kumbaga. no exaggeration ha... pero kung kelan in-e-expect kong medyo walanghiya ako, doon ako nawalan ng loob, partly siguro dahil napaligiran s'ya ng ibang mga dilag na kumausap sa kanya bago ako mag-initiate dapat ng conversation... pag-ibig nga naman o... pag-ibig nga ba?...
but because of Reg's actions, tinging ko obvious na 'ko... kulang na lang talaga sabihin ko sa kanya paglapit ko, "alam mo ba, crush kita?" ewan ko lang kung ano magiging reaksyon nun, ewan din kung mag-f-feeling in hell or confused (whatever) kami after (kung gagawin ko man), at ewan ko lang din kung ako lang ang magiging awkward ang feeling... ewan lang talaga. hanggang ewan na lang ba 'ko? pero, alanganerz namang gawin ko nga 'yun 'di ba? baka mag-suicide pa 'ko kung sakaling nagawa ko nga 'yun at nainis ako sa sarili ko dahil na-violate ko ang sarili kong prinsipyong dapat lalaki ang mauuna sa pagsabi ng nadadama... ('yan ang siguradong hindi ewan ang sagot... sigurado lang naman akong hindi mangyayari 'yan. bwahahahaha!!!) going back... hindi naman kaya pare-pareho lang ang lahat ng mga lalaki?... i mean, hindi kaya kapag bigla akong umamin e mag-feeling na siya? (tulad ng karamihan ng mga lalaki?...) how would i know if i do not try?... pero, why would i try nga?!? hmm... dito pa lang confused na 'ko, hindi ko na malaman if i should still push through & if i should let him know how i feel... hindi ko naman sasabihing i love him e!!! no big deal dapat, 'di ba, kapag sinabi kong i like him? 'di ba?...... haaay... buhay nga naman, oo... parang life! -_-
siguro ang dapat ko na lang problemahin ngayon ay kung paano sisimulan ang usapan na parang ako si Reg, cool lang, parang normal lang, parang 'friendships!', carefree... paano magsisimula, ano ang pag-uusapan, paano ang flow, at paanong hindi mag-sh-shudder & stutter!!! or, better yet, problemahin ko na lang kaya kung paano tatapusin 'yung mga requirements para sa skul?!? *blag*
i'm going... i should.
belated happy Valentine's day! (hey, you oughta treasure this greeting 'cause it's aging slowly...fossilizing!!! nyek!... corny... ever!!! tsk tsk.) ok, gotta get moving... really.

oh, these hearts of ours...

2006-02-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

The following is an entry dated 10/17/05... i wasn't able to post it. i wasn't even able to finish it. Here goes:

title: brown, i find, is a myriad of colors. i am brown...
based on what i've been seeing (or based on what i have been doing) lately, it is evident that brown becomes the prominent (if not the only) color after a (successful?) mix of chalk dust or oil pastel particles. i am now into thinking that such proofs are a reflection of what i am feeling now. i'm afraid, excited, in love (interrobangs), frustrated, worried... have i mentioned Worried? and afraid? i hate to admit it, but i'm afraid... i'm so afraid that i can't even tell what i'm afraid of, so afraid that i'm afraid to speak up! confusing, hm?... i am wishing at this very moment that i were colorblind... (though i know that it's just the spur of the moment... i don't mean this!)

that was it. and Tickle seems to agree... i'm basing that statement on the result I got from one of its tests which a friend (Sherwin!) forwarded. Result:

Yin, your true color is Brown!

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

i'm ok with that.

today, February 2, is another "memorable day," as what Reg would call it... Yesterday was one, and today is... well, the next memorable day to The memorable day. (***blinking W*** one of the things we've made up in class... it's a BeS thing. ^^) it's nothing serious... just something related to... umm... love life?!?... not so much about that, but something about crushes, sightseeing, & the like... those that we girls love doing! lately, (I mean, this Feb, at least... but we're only at the mouth of Feb!... oh, well...) we've been seeing our dear prospects and as much as I would like to say that I hate mentioning these sorts of thingies, well... I'm getting to love this Feb! not quite though since there is also a "problem" (or problemS...) we have to face... I can't mention names... but, oh! to keep this "conversation" light, I'll be making kwento (yuck! Taglish!) again about my crush, him, the present. well, I can't tell much since I'm afraid he might easily find out about this or somebody else would. (isn't that enough a clue?) he's not so the "pretty boy" type, but he's... ok. i mean, with the length of time that we've been together, I couldn't really say he's not likeable... the problem is... [i suppose that--] many have a crush on him.

ok, that's enough. i've been giving out too much info. however little you think those might be, well... I still think I've said enough!

'til next!
(sorry sa pabitin. and, oh!, Happy Valentine's Month! i'm with Bea nga pala, sa lib......)
:-)

ok. so maybe these blogs aren't really too friendly...

2005-07-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

my entry finally made it! i still had to check edit html just to get the thing going... grr... just because of that (no, not just that really...), i'm still awake! i guess it really pays to write usung the traditional method of paper & pen, etc...
gtg.

dark... it's taking me too long to post this... already an hour of trying to post & i still don't see where the error is.

2005-07-10T01:37:00.000-07:00

last July 1: <titulo: i must be scary.. haha! ~.^> wheepee!!! (U.P.!) ... nothing nice or funny... really. everything seems so dark... i mean... the situation i'm in... we're in... right now... depressing. it's just not nice to think about everything negative... doesn't make me productive in any way. right now, i need Naruto's determination to face my weaknesses & the conflicts surrounding us today.

today: <titulo: look up, man... ^ yes, up there.> hello... umm... what now?... umm... guess i won't post anything about politics... i'll leave all my bad thoughts on politics to xanga... it's better out there, where it's plain & boring... xanga is kinda boring to me... i don't know... maybe it's just me... maybe i'm just lazy, so lazy that i won't even do the editing of little things... hmm... perhaps it's just me...

a while ago , i wrote something on paper... as usual, i wrote my thought-stuffs on papers that would someday be seen anywhere in my messy bag or in our messy room, or somewhere messy... i wrote about confusion... & eventually showed how i had confused myself thinking i was confused... basta... something like that... before that, i've written parts of 3 different melodies. inspired? nah... just... confused... or frustrated... maybe i was... but not inspired... dark? hmm... i wish my pale skin were dark, not my thoughts. -.-

btw, we (the band) were with May (of previous 1BES1) last Friday... & Ira (of MDPS) & I met up on Y!M kanina lang & we did the usual kumustahan. it turned out that we're ok-ok & both "loveless." i didn't get to catch Camz (of MDPS, grade school days...) although she was not yet offline at the time i signed in. sorry, maybe next time? well... there'll be no talk on the "latest crush" for now... i can't think of someone to like, besides Mark (yes, still... Mark of Westlife... baduy ba? kanya-kanya nang desisyon yan...)

oh! it's so colorful in here! isn't it? <please excuse my grammar... for always? ^^ critiques are always welcome.>

'til next ka-weirdo-han!!! v^.^

crazy kaboodle

2005-03-18T01:49:00.000-08:00

Reg always calls me that (besides "yiny-winy"). crazy kaboodle... i don't know what that means, though. :D haha... but that's ok. i just remembered that 'cause... i'm thinking crazy again & probably, if Reg were around right now, she'd tell me i'm one crazy kaboodle talaga! *sighs* moving on... ano nga bang ginawa ko? i have just deleted my past 3 posts from last year! i just don't feel like seeing them again in my blogspot... crazy nga, you say, pero ganun talaga. i love change! & perhaps, one day, this love of change would kill me... morbid thoughts are poppin up once again! haaay... nega-thinker to the max 'to. BIG dot, dot, dotz.

about the last (latest?) crush. i said he's a swimmer... i forgot, hindi pala sya yun. ung friend nya nga pala yun... dodgerzzz... he wasn't my crush yet back then, i think, so i wasn't so cautious about info on him... anyway, i sms'd him one february morning (after our gig... haha!) then he replied... and replied, replied, and replied to my text messages! ang saya! kaya lang, he was busy... and of course, so as not to be so obvious na ako'y kinikilig, syempre, the text messages were about not-so-personal things... there wasn't so much thrill, but... i was thrilled! i giggled to his msgs, &... that was all. kung iisiping maigi, wala talagang buhay... but then again, that's Infatuation. something tells me it's natural to be going through this. more? i checked out his friendster account & read that he is in a relationship. i just don't know if he's in a real relationship or if he was reffering to his "love," ang mahal naming rival (shuffle the letters). what's not to love about that girl anyway? kaya nga mahal namin sya. i so wanted to cry that time... infatuation talaga, no? well, what can i do? i have a crush on him... it's something like an "i-love-you-it's-hard-for-me-to-let-go" situation in an obsession stage... what?!? i'm obsessed?!?!? i can't believe i just said that. oh, i don't really know if i was obsessed that time... 'til now, i still don't know. i haven't the slighetst idea if i was really beginning to be obsessed that time... hmm... ano pa ba'ng nangyari?... aa. i remember. there was a time when i kept on singing "will you marry me?" by Vonda Shepard. i so wanted to sing that to him! plus, "crush" by Mandy Moore. think... "will you marry me?" being sung by a girl like me?!? i'm only 18!!! and i've only known him for some one, two, three... nine to 10 months. he doesn't even know i like him!!! & i am the Girl. oh, life. do understand me, please. like i've said, i'm a crazy kaboodle (whatever kaboodle means... basta, i'm crazy. almost obsessed na nga yata e). what else... it even all came to the point when i was itching to know his sked, his hangout places, & the like... as if i were a stalker. "ngek!" davahh?!? i also told him we should just communicate through friendster since he was so busy and i didn't want to disturb him. hate that anyway. the richness of communication is very weak... (tama ba?) he hadn't replied to my msg yet, although i know he had already logged in days after i sent my msg... baka busy lang talga, but it hurts to know that he can't even send me a text msg to acknowledge... "baka walang load..." -ganun?!? buti pa si Lev nun, na-appreciate yung pagiging pranka ko & open (too open) about my ex-crush who happened to be a gay & about how i felt (i asked & told him things like, "ok lang naman yun, di ba? at least, lalaki pa rin ang crush ko!!!") oi, don't think like that! Lev is a special friend... parang special child! haha! :D kidding aside... mahaba na 'to. time to wrap things up, about him... i miss him. he's still my crush, but there's a part of me ready to let go... like i'm falling out of love, since i haven't seen him these days... but i know that he's still on my "crush list"...

moving on... yet another thing that would qualify me for being crazy is having another failing grade... yes. yet another failing grade! isa pa to add, and i'm out! *sighs* oh, i can't wait for the results of the other grades... gotta know so that i'll see if what i saw in my future - studying in a computer school! taking up web design... - would come true. gotta know so that i'll see if i would have to be ready to take my first (3) summer classes... oh, life. that's what i get for being so lazy & for being a crammer. dear parents, condemn me. -.- other people had already advised me things & things to stop me from digging my own grave, yet i continue doin these bad habits of mine... oh, what a bum!!! a trigger that would make other people explode... in anger. bad, bad, bad me.

i'm hoping to see some people on hi5 and neatvibe... (i hope to see him there, too, but i don't even know his surname... how could i find him in the vast net with so many people having the same first name he has?) i told people messaging me on neatvibe that i'm not as nice as i may seem & that i don't think i'm one "sweety" just so i wouldn't attract them... (i'm not looking, but people were messaging me... i could be rude, but i can't be on first meetings... i just can't be... something inside me tells me not to be. good girl? nah... it's just always the case... someone's putting attention on you... there's nothing you can do but entertain...) but having done that seems to have made them see me as a nicer gal. you; don't you think i'm bad? i'm thinking... that i have... applied... reverse psychology on them! hmm... nice... not. : (no, i'm no boy-hater. it's just that i'm not looking. but thanks anyway for liking me. that Could make me feel a lot better.)

what else has been happening in my life?...

i guess i'll tell you later. or if not, months after... gotta go & eat. people in the house have been nagging me for N times just so i would eat before i eat my own time surfing the net. as a matter of fact, they had already slept on me. nagging me tired 'em. 'til next! ^-^

*i hate being pale. is there any way that i could make my face darker? i have made my arms darker, but my face still stands out. help me out with this (& the whole thing with my life?) please... thanks.

*add me up on friendster, myspace, multiply, hi5, sms.ac, neatvibe, & ringo... go email me @ oyindulce@yahoo.ie for the info...

*i want my hair shorter... and blue. "crazy kaboodle!"

*my favorite color is green!!! Happy St. Patrick's Day to all, btw!

*crazy, crazy kaboodle... this is getting so long... so long... farewell!...

swimming...

2005-02-16T23:27:00.000-08:00

isn't ironic? the template i have in here says "swim with me under the sea", but... eheh!... i do not know how to swim. ^-^ but that's all right, i think; anyway, i don't mean literal swim.

ohh... there's someone i've been thinking of since yesterday... (he says he's a good swimmer!) he pops in & out of my mind every once in a while. belated happy (saint) valentine's day to him (and to everyone else)! (i think there's something wrong with the sentence i've just typed.) i'm still deciding whether or not to consider him as a "crush"... i do think he is, but i'm afraid to love... or to like somebody... 'cause all might end in obsession! and everything could turn out to be a failure... (failure... once i fail to be assured that he's the "right one". the "right one" doesn't usually enter my mind. really.) then i'll have to give him up like the others... i'm afraid to give him up although it has always been easy for me to let loose of my "crushes" (and the next day, no longer consider them "crushes")...

oh, what the hell. that's why i've convinced myself (somehow) that i'd like to live alone... without a man... (in the future!!!) 'cause i know i can (unlike the insecure ones, maybe?)... the men entering my life are always puzzling. (sometimes...) they always make my mind full of confusion... or perhaps having a crush, or to like someone, does. and men aren't the ones confusing me??? one big what the hell for me. i'm a blur.

forget about this. i'm comfused. i'm confusing. confusing you. mind not my grammar, wrong usages, my feelings, mind me not; give me comments, suggestions; flame me. you're free to do what you want. but i strongly recommend forgetting about this, and giving me an advice, and doing what you want... and what you need. baiii............

-Y